Aging....

I remember when I was 18, a girl I worked with was 26 and had a sudden break up with her long time boyfriend. I remember thinking, wow, she's really old, she's never going to get married. Fast forward 8 years, and I was that 26 year old girl breaking up with my long time boyfriend, but thankfully I had matured enough to realize there was still hope for a future husband. I did have a mid life crisis right before I turned 29. I was dating the man who would become my husband, I remember vividly babbling on and on to him one night at dinner about getting married, having kids, buying mini vans --- I felt like time was running out. Luckily I didn't scare him off, he proposed soon after... My thirties were spent becoming a wife, homeowner, mother of two, and all that entails. Funny thing, forty never bothered me, it came and went, just another birthday...

Isn't it funny that a number seems so "old" until we start creeping up to it??!! Fifty seemed old when I was in my early thirties. Now that I'm into my forties, fifty isn't old at all, heck you're still a spring chicken (sixty however, that sounds old......)!!! My question is, at what point in time, if ever, do I get to exhale? And what I mean by that, do I ever get to stop being concerned with the size of my pants, the lines on my face, the calories I've taking in but haven't done anything to work off...... the list could go on.....

If you asked me who I want to be when I grow up, this women always comes to mind:



I just love Paula's demeanor - she seems very comfortable in her skin. Obviously I'm going strictly off of her TV persona since I do not know her personally, but I hope someday to get to a place in life where adding butter and mayo to everything doesn't make me avoid the recipe. I would love to feel so comfortable in my skin that I could joyfully tell others the reason I carry a few extra pounds is because the fullness of my face takes away the lines. I want to have my cake, and eat the entire thing too!!

I've lived most of my adult life trying to figure out when I'm most comfortable in my skin, and unfortunately, I'm the most comfortable when I feel I'm thin. But what is the definition of "thin" because when I'm "thin" I always want to be "thinner". Its a vicious cycle and one that I hope some day I can come to peace with. And become more like Paula Dean.....

Sidelined.....

Some unexpected, out of left field, life stress hit us on Friday (not fun). I also started battling a head cold at the same time (really not fun). Needless to say, since Friday night I have been both mentally and physically out of commission.

Monday it was all I could do to function. When I woke up Sunday night at 12:30 am my husband decided I needed to help him talk through this "thing" that transpired. At 3am my son let us know we now had him up. Then the wind picked up, alarms were going off, not much sleep transpired after 3am. I decided there was no way I could put my body through any kind of run. Although I did get a drug induced sleep Tuesday night, I was still too physically drained to run. Wednesday I did do my class, then walked 2 miles on the treadmill. Today, still not feeling up to speed, I decided to do a four mile route that was mostly down hill for 2 miles but then of course uphill for 2. I ran today maybe a mile total. My body was clammy most of the run/walk (not from the heat mind you), but once I was done, I was glad I got out and moved. Helped me both physically and mentally. I have my usual class tomorrow, but I'm planning to get in a three mile run prior with a friend (hopefully I wont pass out on her)!!

I'm really hoping by next Monday the cold is past (although I sit here with a sore throat, please no relapse....) because I really loved logging in my miles last week. It's been a while since I ran that many miles in a week, and it mentally felt great....

My Little Prayer.....

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, please no bags,
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, please no gray,
And as for my belly, please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, please keep me young,
Oh.. And thank you Dear Lord, for all that you've done....

Ok, thought that was too cute not too pass along!!