God Spoke To Me Today....

Through the mouth of a four year old...

My house has always been my safe place. I love that we received the keys to our new home the day before our wedding. I love that it is the only home my children have known thus far. I love our neighbors and how we've all been fortunate enough to start our families together and strive to raise them with the same morals and values. I love that a few years back we took our living room back from the kids and it has turned into a wonderful "grown up" room instead of the kids play area. I love that in between these walls we have loved, laughed, argued, nurtured, entertained - lived life - over the past 13 years.

I love my home....

Until recently....

I find when I'm inside these walls I become impatient, fearful, angry, resentful. I hear water running and think about a water bill. I hear the heat come on in the early mornings and think about an electric bill. I'm so fearful of losing our home, and yet I can't rest easy inside of it right now. I find it so ironic that I'm so afraid of losing it, yet it's the last thing I want to take care of - I kind of shut down when I'm here.

I wake every morning asking God to give me wisdom regarding our situation and to give me peace and acceptance regarding our circumstances. I know God is in control, and I am waiting for His deliverance (although not very patiently as of late). I'm trying, really hard, to become ok with letting my house go if it comes down to that - but so far I haven't got there. I so desire to hear God's voice... clearly.... knowing without a doubt it was him... telling me it's all going to be ok.

As I was leaving a friend today, her four year old son was yelling his good byes across the parking lot to me. At the last moment, he turned one last time and shouted "Oh, and enjoy your home"......

God spoke to me today through that little boy's sweet voice....