Oh You Of Little Faith....

I'm convinced that is what Jesus is thinking of me at this very moment...

In the midst of a storm, Peter stepped out of his boat, in faith, to walk toward Jesus - on top of water - with waves and wind all around him... Peter was successful in his walk until he took his eyes off of Jesus. Suddenly Peter became very aware of the high waves and strong wind, and he pushed aside Jesus' power to sustain him and succumbed to his own inadequacies to try and keep himself afloat. Fear took over and he began to sink.

I have a little mantra when times get tough - don't be Peter, keep your eyes on Jesus, don't be Peter, keep your eyes on the Lord, don't be Peter, the waves wont get me, don't be Peter, keep your eyes on Jesus.... Over and over it is repeated.... but right now I feel like the waves are way too high overhead and I'm straining to not be like Peter, to keep my focus forward, but the waves and the wind are raging and fear is taking over...

I believe the bible is God breathed, inspired by the Lord God Almighty and that every word is true. I don't claim to understand it all, but by faith I believe it all. The bible holds many promises for my life. God promises to sustain me "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4. He promises to feed me, just as he does the birds (Mt 6:26), he promises to clothe me, just as he does the grass of the fields (Mt 6:30), His promises go on and on. And thus far he has upheld what he promises, we are fed, we are clothed, and I am holding on in faith (which I believe I am only able to do because of His power).

However, I am disappointed that no where in scripture does He promise to pay my mortgage, to ensure I can pay my health insurance, or that He will pave an easy road to pay for utilities and the kid's constant need of money for something required at school or sports. I realize that everything I have does not belong to me, its just on loan from the Lord. I admit I'm still struggling with accepting this - He gives, He can take away - I need to trust that His plans for me are way better then I could ever imagine "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope" Jer 29:11, but right now this plan does not feel too good. Or make any sense.

So back to Peter. He began to sink and he cried out, "Lord save me!" The bible tells us IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out to him. Jesus didn't just stand there and let him sink a little more into the cold unfriendly water to learn a lesson, He didn't let him sink under a few times to really get the point, He didn't reach out his hand only to quickly pull it back and then thrust if forward again in some kind of cat and mouse game that had Jesus in stitches and Peter a bit frustrated. No, Peter called out for help and Jesus immediately reached for him.

I know that every time I call out to him, Jesus extends his hand to me - immediately. I know that He see's my struggles, I know that He knows my pain and my fears. I know He hears my prayers. Now, more then ever, I need to trust in what I know. Because I know that just as Jesus extended his hand out to Peter and exclaimed "You of little faith, why did you doubt?", He is wondering the same of me....