New Ending....

Do you ever experience your post rolling around in your head for a while after you post it?

Well, my last post bothered me...

It ended like this ~

Because of the gracious loving nature of Our Heavenly Father, our children ended up having a wonderful Christmas. God had blessed us with what we needed....

It should have ended like this ~

Because of the gracious loving nature of our Heavenly Father, our children ended up having a wonderful Christmas. God had blessed us not with what we needed, but what I had desired...

The desire of my heart was to give my children more then we could. They didn't NEED more - the only things we NEED, we have ~ our health, our home, food, clothing... 

God honored the desire of my heart which made this all the more special. He didn't need to, He chose to...

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires"  Psalm 37:4 


How grateful I still am.....

God's Christmas Gift....

So as I said, God has blessed us with many wonderful things of late. Not sure of where to exactly start, I'll begin with the latest and move backwards...

I really had no idea how we were going to swing Christmas this year. The end of November brought the painful decision to list our home for a short sell - money was simply scare for anything not necessary. I had $300.00 owed to me for some contracting work I had completed, I thought at least I'd be able to use that money for a few gifts. Then, life threw another curve...

I serve in a leadership position for a national bible study I attend. This year they have a weekend retreat happening and I'm expected to go. The cost is $350.00. The deadline for the payment was December 6th. Boy did I struggle with this one. I had money coming to me that would cover the cost, but what about Christmas, God? Now what was I suppose to use to pay for some gifts? Prior to Thanksgiving I resigned myself to write the check for the retreat when the date came trusting God would work something out. And work it out He did.

I have an annual shopping date the day after Thanksgiving with one of my girlfriends. The purpose really is to spend the time together, if we get great deals and purchase Christmas gifts, it's a bonus. Knowing that I had these plans with my friend, my Mom gave me a check (against my protests) so that I could do some shopping. I did not look at the amount until I returned home - the check was for $300.00. God provided. 

In all honesty, I was still struggling with this amount. I have an eleven and a twelve year old. They are very aware of our financial situation - but they are preteens none the less and their Christmas list was typical of their age. Our family knows very well what this time of year really is about, and we all say out loud how we wish we could get back to focusing on the real reason for the season..... but.... we all know that most everyone around us is sticking to the over spending over indulging idea that Christmas has become, and as a mother, I want my children to be excited and joyful Christmas morning with the rest of their friend. 

Because I'm now working part time, and I was a bit paralyzed with how I was going to make this money stretch and get them gifts under the tree. For the first time in at least five years, come December 17th I still had not purchased one gift. I was a bit stressed to say the least...

The evening of Dec 17th a friend of ours asked my husband if he could have a minute. Rick was running out the door to get to FedEx in time and told him he would come over after he was done. He ran his errand, came home and headed down the street to see what he needed. When he came home a while later, our friend had told my husband that God had laid it on his heart to give us this gift, and he handed Rick some folded up bills and told him to go buy gifts for our kids. God had gifted us through our friend $400.00. I don't think I've shed so many tears of appreciation in one evening. It was a very emotional night to say the least. God had provided...

Because of the gracious loving nature of Our Heavenly Father, our children ended up having a wonderful Christmas. God had blessed us with what we needed....

Merry Christmas.....

I hope to spend a little more time blogging in the New Year...

So many wonderful things have happened the past few weeks - God has showed himself in some pretty amazing ways. Ways that I really should be praising aloud for all to hear...

I pray you all have a wonderful Christmas Day filled with family, laughter, joy and of course, abundant happiness...

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

It Looks Like....

God has answered our prayers and the lockbox will be removed...

Blessings have come from an unexpected place. I would like to tell the story, but for right now it needs to wait...

Things are a brewing... Hope is stirring.... Renewal is coming.... Happy is in the works....

A Bit Bah Hum Bugish....

Decked the halls today...

Typically I enjoy this. Today, not so much.

I still have to finish the tree and tweak/decorate the garland on the banisters. Not really motivated to do so.

Several reasons for this blah attitude.

We have dear, very much loved, neighbors who have been on a very long journey with cancer this year and are nearing the end of the road. A beloved wife/mother/friend has no other options other then a healing miracle from God. As I pulled out bins and placed decorations in their place, my friends are in their home with hospice care and prayers for longevity of life without pain.

Then there's the sadness that this may be our last Christmas in this home. We have some options that could keep us here, but we need to make the right choice, and I'm not sure if staying here really is the right choice. 

So, not really any Christmas jolly today. Just decorating...

I thought I'd change my back round to something cheerful, thinking that may help. More frustration with blogger not allowing me to change my design settings... hm... I suppose that's a small inconvenience in the scheme of things...

Now on to my next favorite chore... what to have for dinner....

A Day Not To Remember....

Lock box on, property up for short sale, conversation with kids that we may have to move...

Happy no where to be found today...

I believe God can still pull out a miracle...

I pray He does...

"I Want My Happy Back"....

I happened to hear these words muttered by a reality housewife recently while I was flipping through the channels....

These words hit me to the core...

I want MY happy back....

These past two years have been such a trial. Financially and emotionally. We have drained our long term savings, we are in debt way over our heads and then some, and unless God provides a miracle VERY soon, we'll lose our home. There hasn't been much happiness...

There has been gratitude. Thankfulness for our health, for the way God has provided for our needs through our friends and family. For cars that continue to run even though there are far more miles then should be on them. For our children - they are great kids, get great grades and do very well in their sport of choice. I'm grateful that God provided me a job that creates a small income and works with my kids schedule. Grateful that our marriage is strong despite the stress.

But happiness... that's been elusive... Yes, of course, there have been happy moments, laughter does still exists in our home, but if you were to ask me to describe myself, happy would not be included. It use to be and I believe one day it will again, but for the last two years my happy has been missing. 

I know that someday we will finally make it out of this valley God has us traveling through. I struggle, actually I agonize, with the "cost" this journey is causing us, but I know He will bring us out. He gently spoke to me through Deuteronomy 8..... "Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness....humbling you and testing you to prove your character and to find out whether or not you would really obey his commands" v8:2  I know there is a bigger purpose behind this time of testing. I truly believe He has something beyond what we can conceive at this moment planned for us "He did it so you would never think that it was your own strength and energy that made you wealthy" v8:17.

Wealth will not bring back my happy... But having a consistent income to pay off our debts, to not worry about things breaking down, knowing we can pay for the roof over our head, the clothes on our bodies, the food in our pantry.... Having an income to pay for healthy teeth and medical check ups, haircuts and gas in our vehicles. Not having to hear constant heavy sighs or saying my daily prayers fighting back tears....  Happy will creep back in when these things start happening....

And in God's timing, I know they will....